Have you ever found yourself saying, “I want them to use their words to tell me what’s wrong”?

You’re not alone. As a pediatric speech therapist and early intervention specialist who supports child care providers every week, I hear this all the time. Of course we want children to use their words, but here’s the reality: When toddlers and preschoolers experience big feelings, those words aren’t always available.

And honestly, we as adults struggle with this too.

expecting a child to use words when they are mad is not realistic. It’s not realistic for an adult to do either.

Picture a time you were so frustrated you just needed a minute to get yourself together but someone kept pressing: “You look upset. Tell me what’s wrong. Use your words.”

Did you feel like calmly explaining? Probably not. You may have wanted space, a snack, or even to curl up in a blanket before you could talk.

Children feel the same way. When emotions run high, words don’t always come first. Calm brains talk, upset brains can’t. This doesn’t mean language isn’t important. It means we need to give children tools to communicate without words in the moment. This is where visuals come in.

My Favorite Visual: “I Feel, I Need”

visual supports to use in your classroom to support behavior. i feel i need visual — Page 3 of the free guide! (see end of blog to download)

At first, you will have to model using this visual yourself. Then a child may simply point to a picture. That’s a huge success! With lots of modeling and practice, they will begin to pair the visual with the language: “I feel mad. I need the turtle blanket.” Visuals don’t replace language, they build it. But it takes practice!

Why Visuals Are So Powerful

Visual supports are one of the simplest, most effective tools you can add to a calm down area. They:

Reduce the pressure of having to talk when feelings are too big
Give children a clear, concrete way to express themselves
Provide choices so children feel in control
Support understanding and using feelings words over time

Download the freebie

That’s why visual supports are one of the 3 must-haves in every effective calm down area.

Want to know the other two essentials? Download your free guide: 3 Must-Haves for an Effective Calm Down Area and start building a cozy corner that actually works for toddlers and preschoolers.